Shepherd Lee Decker’s Grand Arrival from Mom’s Perspective

ok, I know this is crazy long and full of unnecessary details but I didn't want to forget anything!

Your dad and I went in to the midwife for a regular check up on the day before your due date, Feb 12, 2013.  I was hopeful that my cervix was dilated a little, but had a feeling that it wasn’t because I wasn’t having enough consistent, hard contractions at all.  When she did check, I was right, my cervix was unreachable and thus not even close.  Bummer.  So we made another appointment a week out but were still hopeful that I would go into labor spontaneously.

Gigi came into town the day after your due date.  We debated if she should come a few days later but flights were way too expensive to change and I thought it might be more fun to have her here before you were born for a few days anyway.  And it was!  I finished with my dermatology rotation the Friday before your due date and was really nervous that I would be sitting around twiddling my thumbs just waiting.  So when Gigi came, Eddie went skiing up at Solitude and Gigi and I went for a 2 hour snowshoe up Guardsman’s Pass.  

It was gorgeous and I felt great!








 It was Valentine’s Day and I really didn’t want you to have to share the holiday with your birthday but was also ready to get the show on the road and go into labor, especially since everything was in order and Gigi was in town.  But nope, not Valentine’s Day.  We came home and all made a fancy squash lasagna.  The next day, I went swimming at the Sorensen, Gigi worked out at the gym, and Dad did some DIY projects out in the garage.  Again, I felt great, too great, and knew that it was not going to be the day of your birth.  We decided to try the induction cocktail suggested by Kelley.  Castor oil, almond butter, apricot nectar, and champagne. 

Dad had a FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) moment and wanted to drink it too.

 It went down ok, but I thought my belly would feel better if I could throw up, which of course I did not.  I laid down for a nap, then Gigi, Willie, and I went for a walk.  Supposedly in 4-8 hours, contractions would start.  That night, we went out for spicy Thai and it helped a little to get me to have some contractions.  That night I was up frequently trying to cope with some painful but irregular contractions and to poop as prescribed by the cocktail and castor oil.  The contractions petered out by morning.  The next day, Saturday, Gigi and Eddie went for an 8 mile run up City Creek and Willie and I hiked up Memory Grove.  I ran for about a mile which felt so nice!  Then we went on a hunt for a Chinese foot massage that would do acupressure to induce labor.  The hunt failed and we settled on pedicures.  
We were planning on going to The Rock Church that evening but we all were too tired and decided to just go home and Gigi made manicotti-my favorite.  I made a lemon meringue pie as required by my Aunt Charmaine who guaranteed labor would start upon eating the whole thing.  The next day, we went to church at Missio Dei and Josh spoke about the bigness of God creating space, galaxies, the sun, stars, and earth, and how, despite his hugeness, he created each one of us and knows each hair on our head, or in Dad’s case, lack of hair on his head.  I just sat in amazement of how much he cares for you and how he created you out of two single cells.  After church, we decided to try spicy food again to see if that would initiate labor, or maybe just ‘cause we love The Killer Mexican, aka Red Iguana.  It did not disappoint, of course.  We watched Juno and decided my mantra during labor would be, “All babies want to get borned!”  We did say this once or twice during the actual labor, but more in jest.  The next day, Dad went to work, Gigi and I took Willie to Tanner Park and had delicious chai lattes.  I was having contractions about every 10 minutes but still not strong or consistent enough.  I have to admit that I was losing courage to do the whole “all natural childbirth” as the days went on and we were getting closer to having to induce.  We met Roxy at Blue Star Coffee who delivered her baby naturally and she said it was awesome if I could do it.  She really was encouraging to me.  Then Gigi and I went shopping and bought you the cutest OshGosh overalls and grapefruit.  I can hardly wait to put you in those overalls!  That evening, Gigi cleaned our bathroom like crazy which blessed my socks off.  We went for a walk and I had to slow down a couple times during contractions but it still felt good to get out.  Gigi and I went to a silly play down in Sandy about a wedding chapel in Las Vegas.  That night, I again had painful contractions that kept me up most of the night.  I would get out of bed, sit on the ball during the contraction, then get back in and sleep for a few minutes to a half hour until the next one.

 The next morning I was really anxious about the midwife appointment at 11:40.  I sent out an email to our house church and Zville girlfriends requesting BHAP prayers.  I was afraid that all those painful contractions the previous nights would have amounted to nothing (no cervix dilation) and that we would have to induce.  I knew my dates were accurate and that they probably wouldn’t let me go much further without inducing which would have defeated everything that we hoped for in the delivery except, of course, getting to take home a healthy, happy baby, which Eddie reminded me of and gave me some peace.  We went in and saw Claudia, who we really liked, and I was 3 cms, 100% effaced and zero station! I was elated!  She stripped my membranes and then I was 4 cms. Even better!  Then I knew that if I had any consistent, strong contractions it would truly be active labor! Any minute!  But we still needed to do the non stress test and amniotic fluid index at the hospital.  We did that, all was ok.  Then we headed down to Sandy to get the breast pump but after waiting 30 minutes or what seemed like an eternity, the insurance company would not let us get the pump until after you were born.  It was then that my contractions really started and I was miserable sitting there waiting.  We were debating if we should go home or go right back to the hospital.  Dad decided to go home which was truly best.  We labored at home for about 4 more hours, called the midwife who said to eat a snack and take our time, but come on up to the hospital.  I would get on the ball during ctxns and then get into bed or walk around to rest in between.  Dad and Gigi were awesome as they coached me to relax during each ctxn via the hypnobirthing that we practiced.  They did light touch on my back and rubbed my head which was awesome.  The excitement that I was anticipating feeling when I knew labor was really starting was not there.  I think we were too far into it to be excited.  We decided to wait until after shift change to go up to the hospital to avoid the chaos and frustration of the nurses.  At seven, we left and headed up to OB emergency services where we would be triaged to see if we could stay or go home. 

We got another NST, which was fine of course.  I got a cervical check that said I was 5.5 cms! We were staying and I was truly in labor!  You were on your way!  We could hardly wait to see your face.  A funny side note, Gigi was wearing a Packer sweatshirt and the midwife said how much she loved Green Bay.  Mom asked her if she liked AJ Hawk’s hair short and the midwife was so confused, she didn’t know who AJ  Hawk was.  She said, “Oh, I don’t watch football.”  Whaaa?  Anyway, we told them in triage that we were planning on hypnobirthing and she automatically knew that we would want a room with a tub.  The triage nurse kept saying how great I was doing and I felt encouraged. 

We then moved across the hall to L&D and settled in.  Our nurse, Jessica, got the tub running hot water, the birthing ball ready for me, Dad set up the hypnobirth CDs, I got out the blue Powerade.  And the cot was ready for Gigi.  We were all ready to rock and roll.  During each contraction, EVERY SINGLE CONTRACTION for the next 7 hours, Eddie coached me to relax systematically through the body zones.  I listened and obeyed as best I could.  Gigi would step in and give Dad some breaks and she knew exactly what to do and say perfectly.  Eddie’s voice and light touch were so comforting, soothing and steady-ing throughout the whole thing.   I got into the tub and listened to the Birth Affirmations CD which was really encouraging and helped me focus.

 Then I listened to Kari Jobe and worshipped a little.  The tub was amazing and I was able to remain relaxed through each contraction while in the warm water.  When I got out and walked around, prom danced with Dad during contractions, or was on the ball, the contractions were much stronger.  After some time, I got back into the tub and was about to listen to the Rainbow Relaxation CD but Lisa, the midwife came in.  Dad was a little peeved that it took 2.5 hours for her to even come into our room and introduce herself, but we were doing well and controlled without her so he relaxed about it.  In the end, we really appreciated her “hands off” approach.  I was encouraged when talking with Lisa and was distracted from the contractions as we talked about our careers and midwifery in general.  I got out of the hot water again and went back to the ball.  I was exhausted from not sleeping much the previous two nights and now that it was my bedtime, 10:30, I was so tired and just wanted to sleep.
 
So I did.  In between surges, I would fall asleep on the bed and then jump out onto the ball during the surge.  Jessica was amazing and was required to do intermittent monitoring which means holding the fetal heart and contraction monitors on my belly just before, during, and just after a contraction every half hour.  She was pretty loose about the monitoring, seeing that everything was going well, and you were tolerating labor just fine.  It was pretty cool that she could do the monitoring under water and on the ball and didn’t require me to be in the bed, which was the worst position for me.  After a while, I was needing some encouragement and felt a tiny bit of pressure so I asked if I could be checked.  I’m not really sure if I was feeling pressure or if I just wanted to make sure that I was progressing.  When Lisa did check, I was at 7.5 cms! Good news.  I was secretly hoping that I’d be a nine but expected to be at a seven.  She thought that you were positioned posteriorly which is a rough spot to be in: usually delays labor, causes severe back pain which I was having, prolongs pushing and can sometimes lead to a Cesarean section.  Lisa and Jessica suggested I get into hands and knees position and either get the head of the bed up and lean over it or hug a smaller ball while on my knees on the bed.  I tried both, but ended up hugging the ball mostly.  Contractions were definitely stronger and I was becoming out of control with them.  I would rest in between on the bed, then jump onto my knees and demand the ball.  It was not pretty.  Dad would still guide me through relaxation.  I was sarcastic back at one point when he said my abdomen and back were relaxing.  Ha!  Right!  I would rock back and forth and side to side on my hands and knees.  I think I went to the bathroom to see if laboring there would be any better.  At one point, I felt you turn, but I wasn’t too sure and didn’t want to get my hopes up, but it was a big flip.  A contraction after that, I had an uncontrolled urge to push.  It was like dry heaving really strongly.  Dad put the call light on and said I was pushing.  Jessica came in and said Lisa would be in shortly to check my cervix.  I was not to push until I was fully dilated to 10 cms.  I breathed through my next contraction.  Lisa came in and checked while I was still on hands and knees.  I was only 9 cms all around!  But, I could not control the urge.  I think I went to the bathroom to try to labor there.  I lasted one contraction and went back to the bed where I could be on hands and knees again.  I was pushing!  Then the torpedo exploded!  Gigi jumped up and back 10 feet and Dad wished he had his goggles on.

I wasn’t sure what it was, but others were kinda laughing so I knew it couldn’t be too bad.  I asked if my water broke and indeed it did.  Cool!  Most of the deliveries I was a part of in my L&D days, the OB docs broke the water with an amnio hook.  This was all natural Baby!  And the fluid was clear-another answered prayer.  Then I was in all out pushing mode.  I rolled to my right side and held my left knee up and pushed so hard.  I was squawking like a dying bird.  This was not the hypnobirthing that we watched videos of!  This was classic L&D.  Then I asked if I could go to the bathroom again to see if that would be any better.  We had one contraction where I could just breathe through and not push.  Then one more that was so strong and I pushed so hard, I thought surely something was happening down there.  I reached down and could feel your head!  You weren’t crowning yet though.  I whispered to Eddie that I could feel your head.  I asked Lisa and Jessica, who were sitting on the bed, if it was ok that I was still in the bathroom.  They thought that I had a long time still of pushing since this was my first delivery.  But, with the next contraction, your head popped out!  All the way!  I said it out loud and everyone was frozen in shock for a minute.  I waddled over to the bed and flopped onto my back.  Lisa struggled to get a glove on, but once she did, she maneuvered your shoulders out and I pushed one gentle push and out you came!!!  You had a long, loose nuchal cord around your neck.  You came straight up to my chest and just laid there for a minute.

 Jessica wiped you off and you started crying.  It was awesome!  Dad was crying, I was in shock.  Gigi was photographing and probably crying.  I started shaking uncontrollably due to the hormone shift.  They called in another resident named Dr. Webber to assess my tear.  Lisa rubbed on my belly to make sure my uterus was firm and I wasn’t bleeding too much.  That was crazy painful but would only last a few seconds.  I ended up needing a shot of pitocin to help stop the bleeding.  When the resident was suturing, she asked if I wanted pain meds in my IV.  Dad and I looked at each other and knowingly rejoiced at how the delivery went- a truly unmedicated birth!  I didn’t have an IV.  We tried to breastfeed, but I was still in a bit of shock and shaking terribly.  Dad was still crying and photographing.  Jessica helped situate you and you latched pretty quickly.  An answered prayer!

 After what seemed like forever, they finished suturing, and I could put my legs down and try to relax.  I went to the bathroom so that I could help stop the bleeding and was successful so I didn’t need a catheter!  Yay!  Then you got weighed.  Jessica asked right before what each of us thought was your birth weight.  I said 7#11, Dad said 7#1, Gigi said 7#4.  I was spot on! You were 7#10.8 oz and 21 inches long.  Your Apgars were 8/9.  

We then headed over to postpartum where we “rested” for a day and a half.  Employees kept coming in, as their job dictates, but we didn’t get much rest.  Our day nurse, Kassie, was wonderful and redeemed my stereotype of old, cranky postpartum nurses for me.  The night nurse tucked us in so that you could nurse and I could sleep all night.  That was magical.  The peds team was reassuring with your birthmark and hip click- both non-concerning, but will be followed closely.  The lactation consultant was not necessary since you were latching beautifully.  The discharge midwife was so helpful in giving instructions of what to look for with postpartum depression, infection, healing, etc. 

Then we went home.  Parents of the year…we didn’t click you in your carseat.  We thought we did, but doubled checked the carseat at the front desk and instead left it unclicked.  After we stopped for tres leches at Nachos Pizza, I realized our mistake.  Oops. 

Ever since you came home, exactly one week later, you have been a dream.  We are adjusting to your cues and taking every opportunity to praise God at making a perfect little Shepherd boy.  We stare at you continuously.  We weep spontaneously at God’s amazing grace in giving you to such unworthy parents.  At how perfect you are.  At how I had feared so much during the pregnancy of major physical deformities and had prepped myself, but that you don’t have any obvious ones.  At your toots and burps.  At your unconscious grins and smirks.  At your unknown destiny.  At the responsibility of parenthood.  At the responsibility of you owning your own destiny.  At the miracle of my body feeding yours.  At how natural a father Eddie is and how amazingly attentive and selfless he is.  All the what if’s-single parenthood, twins or more, no time off, etc. that we fortunately don’t have to deal with right now.  At how your dad and I had hoped and prayed for so long for you.  And so many others have joined us in those prayers.  But mostly how adorable and perfect you are.  I love you so much and am beside myself with thankfulness to all those who made the miracle become reality.